You Are My Love
by Beckii Liek
Summary: AMUTO. When Amu is violated with no mercy, loosing all she holds dear, she feels that there is nobody out there. Can anybody help her in this game of fate? Can anybody turn her destiny right around? // First fanfic. M for language and minor adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

"Amu-chan, Amu-chan! I'm stuck!"

The loud and ever cheerful voice of Yuiki Yaya, my classmate and fellow guardian, burst through my train of thought - (Nothing of importance, just what my plans were for dinner - I needed some milk in, too!), as she beckoned me over to her workbook. "I don't get it, what is Y?"

"Huh?", Amu grunted, her eyes scanning Yaya's work. "Yaya-chan, I don't think you copied this out right. Compare it to someone else's. And bear in mind that we're doing our Home Ec. work.. I don't know why you have maths there. That's just weird."

"Amu-chan, did Yaya do it wrong? In fact, don't answer that! Hauuuu!~"

Hinamori Amu's the name. I was at my Study Group, consisting of myself, Yaya, Nadeshiko, Kukai, Tadase and Utau, who's house it happened to be hosted at this week - a sweet traditional cottage which she shared with her brother, Ikuto. I had grown up with the two, they were like family, although I'm embarrassed to admit it, I had always had a childhood crush on my Onii-san, Ikuto. A pretty weird child I was, too, as in my Journal, I tacked his surname onto mine.. that was, until Uta-nee found it. I don't think she's completely forgotten, so I always try and be on her good side..

Blushing furiously, I flicked a few more pages of my textbook. Sighing, I brushed my pink fringe out of my eyes and looked at the ceiling. "Guys, I don't want to study today.. gomenne. I think I'll head home and grab a bath, I'm not feeling too good. Talk to you guys tomorrow", and with that, I gathered my bag and took my leave.

As I left the startled and caring faces of my peers and made my way down the stairs, a shadowed figure loomed at me through the darkness. A cry escaped my lips, and the figure gave a smirk, pushing his way past me, up to the top floor - his space. I sighed. He used to be such a kind, loving person, as well! My cold hands slipped the shoes I had chosen to wear over my toes - red heeled shoes, combining well with my cross-shaped hair clips - and slid the paper door open, bracing myself for the blast of icy air bound to ensue. 'Should have brought a coat', I thought to myself, and thus I took a few steps into the darkness. Looking back, that would have been when I would have made the worst choice of my life - taking the shortcut home through the back alley. Without mace. What was I thinking..?

***

I shivered and gasped, my breath making clouds as I exhaled, and I rubbed my frozen palms together. I passed the back doors of a few clubs and pubs, with the occasional smokers standing ominously outside, inhaling their addictions. 'Just keep walking, Amu, just keep walking'. I turned and twisted through the winding and intricate back alleys - pretty confident that I could make my way through without any encounters. Almost like I was tempting fate, really. Turns out I was, and I knew it when a slurred voice called out to me.

"Hey, s-sweet ass, c'mere and hang with us!". I quickened my pace, then remembered not to let them show I was frightened. 'Shit!', I whispered to myself.

"She got a dirty mouth, this'un does!", another called out!

"Best clean it then, shan't we?"

I didn't know how they intended to 'clean it', but I know that was when I started to run for it.

"Yeah, c'mon babe, we'll give you a good time! Don't go! Or we might get angry with you, darlin'"

"Here, here! But let me have my fun first, this time!"

"Hiro, you always get to go first, we said it was my turn!"

I took this as my chance to escape, when I ran into the stomach of one of the mob. He stank of vodka, whiskey and god knows what else, and I wrinkled my nose, when he dug his hand into my shoulder.

"You aren't going anywhere love, until we've done what we wanted", and he laughed right in my face. He brought up his arm and slapped me across the face. It hurt so much, yet I knew that if I couldn't escape, that was just the tip of the iceberg.

My nerves were a wreck and it was all I could do to keep the tears back. The oldest and probably the ring leader of the gang grabbed my wrist and forced his ugly mouth on mine. His flabby hand came into contact with my sleeve and I wrenched my head away and screamed. His other hand clamped down on my mouth, and he ripped the material off my top with his other. I bit his hand and made a bolt for it - I wasn't so lucky. I felt the tears running down my cheeks, and I was vaguely aware of a bottle being brought down on my head and sinking to my knees, trembling, before falling into the embrace of darkness.

***

It was bright. Too bright. I dragged my aching body upright and winced. 'Those bastards... shit." I tried standing up. No luck there, and it was then I inspected the wounds I could see. I even had a gash down the inside of my thigh. So one of them had a knife? Or it was the glass from the bottle. Either way, I was grateful I hadn't been conscious for that part.

I heaved myself up, and steadied myself against some bins. Fortunately, my home wasn't so far away and I could make it back at a slow walk in 5 minutes. My back was grazed and bloody, my shirt and skirt ripped to shreds - I hoped nobody would see me, yet did I really? Right now I just wanted a nice comforting hug and someone to tell me that it was a nightmare, that I hadn't been robbed of what I treasured and I hadn't been so stupid. I tried my best to run back to my flat, yet I slowed to a walk after a few minutes.

Eventually I arrived outside the lift. Impatiently, I stabbed the buttons and waited. 'Come on!', I thought to myself, and eventually the numbers started changing. '6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, G'. The mechanical doors slid open, and I stumbled in. There was a swooping feeling in my stomach and the pressure built up in my ears as the mechanical box crawled up the shaft. 'Ding'. The doors slouched back, and I limped my way to room 517, fumbling inside what was left of my pockets for the key. Panicking a little, my fingers eventually found metal and, trembling as they were, unlocked the door.

***

As I entered the room, I walked a little way to the light switch. The light switch being at the opposite end of the hall was no fault of my own, but it meant that I had to walk a couple of metres in darkness, and remember not to leave anything on the floor around this area. I made it to the end, and impatiently flicked the switch with my index finger.

A scream escaped my bruised lips, and I stumbled backwards and landed on my rear, before realizing who it was standing before me, tall and intriguing. "I..Ikuto, what're you doing in my flat? How did you get in here? Wha..what?!"

He just remained silent, his usual behavior around me, and instead stared at me intently, his eyes wide with shock and disgust. I suddenly felt myself irritated, and extremely self conscious - was it really that bad? Without waiting for the reply which was obviously never going to pierce the silence, I pushed my way past his rigid self and ran barefoot across the room to the bathroom, the door swinging on it's hinges as I flung it open.

The sight that met my swollen eyes was not a pretty one. My cheek was bruised from the slap - yet it was barely visible compared to the rest of my visage... My hair was tangled and stained, due to the massive cut down the center of my forehead (presumably from the bottle), my skin was blotchy and shattered, my neck had a purple shadow of my attackers' hand prints, my lips cut up and showing purple lumps. What remained of my clothes (And it was very little) was soaked in blood and God knows what else, I was grimy and dirty and I felt, to put it bluntly, like shit on a summers day.

I was so startled and absorbed that I didn't notice Ikuto follow me in. "What the hell..? Amu, I had a bad feeling but if ever I find those bastards...". He didn't finish his threat. Somehow I didn't want to know. "Well you obviously can't go to school, someone will think you're being abused. But you aren't a stupid girl, Amu, why did you even think of going down the back alleys? If you were going to be cold, surely you could have borrowed something of Utau-nee's.."

"Stop.", I interrupted him. "Just stop. get out of my flat. Do you think I chose this? To have myself... to have that happen to me? Only a maniac would. Not even one of them. Of course, you've had so many one-night stands that you wouldn't even think to care, but I do, Ikuto, I do!"

"Wait.. they didn't.. did they? Tell me they didn't"

"I.. I thought you knew!"

"No, I thought a bunch of sickos beat you up! I never thought you were.. violated in that manner!"

"Well now you do!", I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. I hastily twisted the taps for the bath, and after a few trickles, the gush started the bath filling with water, steaming hot, and I peeled off my sticky clothes, hoping that Ikuto would get the message that I wanted him to leave. Surely enough, he exited the bathroom. I could hear him making some tea, and sighed. He just wouldn't leave, would he! Surely enough, my bath had filled, and I lay down, succumbing to the calming sense of the hot water.

***


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:// Thank you to Lottie and Rosie for my reviews and help with the summaries. Thank you to those of you who have favourited me as an author and favourited **_**You Are My Love**_** as well. I hope to please you with this chapter, and things will get a move on soon, I promise! **

**///**

The steaming hot water was calming and refreshing. I sighed, and looked around myself, and the view was normal... just my beige bathroom, with a sink and a toilet. The large mirror hung above the sink, and a towel rack was directly above my head. I was unsure of what my next action would be. Ikuto was _still_ in the kitchen. Definitely, I would have to get him to leave.

Yet why did I feel so vulnerable? Still, how did I know he wasn't just like those others? Somewhere in the back of my mind there was a voice telling me to stop being so stupid, Ikuto would never hurt you, and still my fears completely overruled _that_ notion.

I looked at my injuries that were visible to me in the water. Some of the open cuts had tinged the water a slight reddish colour, and I knew I should get out soon. My skin was already shrivelling. "I'm not ready... five more minutes, Amu, five more minutes", I whispered to myself.

Yet the five minutes dragged into fifteen minutes, and so on, and when I realised I had been bathing for almost an hour, I still stayed put. I heard Ikuto's worried voice through the door. It may have been my imagination, but I could have sworn his voice was laced with malicious intent. I froze, and dared not to make any movement, any splashing, any noise.

"Amu-chan, are you okay in there?", he called out to me. I replied silently, my mouth only mouthing the words, "No... No no no no no no no..."

"Amu, I'm worried about you. If you don't let me know you're okay, I'm coming in."

"No!", I screamed, and by now I was shaking all over. Suddenly the hot water had turned into blocks of ice, and I was laying on the stony tarmac, in a dark alley, with drunken attackers jeering and laughing, laughing at my screams. It was all too much for me, my body went limp and I fainted. Again.

***

I was unconscious, yet very conscious, all at once. I could feel the depths of the water against me, dragging me down to a place with no bottom, and where the sun shines but only at night, a dim preflection through the sky that is the sea. A place where my friends turned against me, and my enemies were the demons that walked the sands of the sea. 'Of course nobody is here for me', I thought to myself, inhaling another mouthful of water.

'This isn't so bad, is it? Breathing the wrong way?'

'_Amu, you can't do this!'_

'But I want to stay here... look at how the light hits the ocean...'

'_Amu, you can't do this!'_

'Yet I really want to... just a little longer, please? I want to so much'

"AMU! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"

***

This last one was from the _other_ side, the side where those mortals inhaled oxygen, yet here I was a **goddess**, a ruler trapped by the bounds of my breathing. Taking in another mouthful, I smiled triumphantly. They can't get me now! My body screamed for oxygen, yet my new self knew if I could just hold on for a little more, I would be able to overcome my needs and truly reign over the other lives that couldn't survive like me, the true ruler of death.

Hands grabbed my shoulders, and yanked my now limp body from the bath, water splashing everywhere. A towel was flung over me, and my cuts were soft from having been in the water for so long. I could feel someone trying to wake me and I resisted, lashing out. Fool! You can't contain me in your dull world! As my hit came into contact, the attacker recoiled and suddenly, like a flash of lightening, my vision came back.

_Why couldn't I breathe? Why did I feel so small? Why was my mouth containing so much liquid?_ Suddenly, as if it were an answer, I vomited all over the floor and skidded into the corner of the bathroom, shaking in fear. "GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! I CANT STAND YOU!", and something else clicked in my mind. "Oh, and leave _Utau-nee_'s key on the table."

Startled, he left me, sensing that I wasn't going to listen to him, and I heard the door slam behind him. I didn't even feel bad for throwing him out. I grinned, and stood up, wobbling a little. I hobbled slowly to the doorway and almost had a heart attack when I passed the mirror.

"Damn it" I whispered, as I had nearly forgotten how bad my injuries were. The water hadn't helped, and the ones that had scabbed over were now open wounds once more. I scrabbled in the cupboard for my medical kit, and began disinfecting and covering my wounds. Polo necked long sleeved jumpers and trousers for a while for me for at least two weeks, and I sighed at this realisation. Even if it was winter, I only had one pair of trousers, and two polo necked jumpers, yet they would have to do for a few days until my facial wounds had nearly cleared up.

I tied a knot in the last leg bandage, and smiled, proud of my work. True, I looked closer to a mummy than a 15 year old, but I had no plans of leaving this flat ever again, so it didn't bother me too much. My hand on the doorknob, I twisted it and slouched over to the kitchen, humming.

What was in, then?, was my thought when I opened the variosu cupboards my flat had to offer. Beans, eggs, butter, flour, five ready meals, pasta, noodles and a packet of half eaten Doritos, which would last me at least a week and a half. If I got stuck, I could make pancakes. My fingers danced along the items of food and I selected the Doritos. A flash of steam caught my eye and I went to inspect. Sighing in relief, it was only the tea which Ikuto had prepared. I grinned like a madman, and flung the cup onto the floor, smashing it into a thousand shards. Good riddance! He was a man, perfectly capable of what my attackers had done to me! Never would I trust him again.

I rummaged in my cupboards, giggling at what I was going to do, and found them at last. The 6-pack of beer I had bought last week. I shook them all up, and opened the kitchen window. 5 storeys up, I had a pretty good view, and waited for someone to walk past, snickering at my plan.

***

I didn't have a long wait. A middle-aged man with a beer belly walked past, and when he was a few paces away from being directly underneath my window, I threw the beer cans down. Perfect. They landed right next to his feet, and as he crouched to have a look, exploded right next to him, covering him in beer.

My thought train as I did this was like this, "It was exactly as alcohol worked, though. One or two is fine, but after a load you get drunk, and eventually explode. The explosions are usually unpleasant, and it's a good idea never to touch the alcohol in the first place."


End file.
